Tuesday, 11 September 2012
What is it like to be a paralympics
Yea I said to myself we are going to be doing paralympics man I wander want it would feel like to become one of them so off we went to the count to try it out as we started we all went to go and grab a ribbon and put one hand in and the other hand out as we ran it felt strange because the ribbon was slowing us down.
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7 comments:
Hi Ata,
I love your story...but what I think you need to work on is putting full stop after one sentence. Because right now it looks like one big sentence! Anyway great work and keep up the good work...Bye
Hi Ata I loved your writing it was interesting and how you explains what it would feel like.
WOW!Ata you had used juice words I love how much sentences you did.Anyway keep up the great work.
hi Ata
I like your story but we still need put a fullstops. apart from that it was good
Wow! Ata
Good writing you've got there. I like it you know all the writing is good exept a little crash on putting fullstops after the one sentence. I really love your writing... but I think you should put fullstops.
Hi, Ata
I am happy to see that you have found something to be so excited about. I'm glad to know that you and your fellow classmates had the opportunity to see how it feels to be handicap. So I hope you've learned that being disabled can really slow a person down, but the key is to keep going and not to quit. I would however suggest that you proof read your sentences and take breaks in between sentences by putting periods at the ends of each one.
I am in Dr. Strange's EDM310 class at the University of South Alabama and I enjoyed reading your stories throughout your blog. I really liked your most recent story about being in the Paralympics. You sounded so excited about doing something new and your story made me smile. I hope your day in the Paralympics was as awesome as your story and I look forward to reading more on your creative blog.
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